MSM is #fakenews, but The Onion's news is real: We're in our "final weeks"

We planned to continue decoding the avalanche of secret messages passed lately in tv shows and articles, but at this point every single show or article we find contains a hidden message about killing Hera, David’s family, and the human race. We are going to take this time now to focus on other things, everything we can tell you already can be found in this blog. We won’t give up. We’ll talk to you all again soon. Here’s The Onion’s story, and there are numerous others containing the same message. Try to keep in mind that the real news is fake, and the fake news, including TV shows, songs, movies, and articles, often is where the real information is buried.

Last Remaining Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Really Squandering Species’ Final Weeks

HOT SPRINGS, AR—Noting that what little time remained was quickly slipping away, sources confirmed Monday that the last remaining ivory-billed woodpecker was completely squandering the species’ final weeks of existence. “He’s got maybe a month left on the planet, and that dumbass is totally blowing it by standing around doing nothing all day on a goddamn tree branch,” said local birdwatcher Lamar Campbell, (Note the name “Lamar” which is code for “the mar,” which means “the Martian” in the Illuminati Code Book. And Campbell, which means “C amp b ell” which means that the writer sees (C) an “amp” “b “ell” which means a “b” (alien) “ell” (Illuminati Boss) getting ready to strike, like lightning (“amp”)), adding that the critically endangered woodpecker was frittering away precious time just sitting in its nest preening its feathers. “What the fuck is wrong with this thing? It’s the last one of its kind, and it’s just singing some stupid song like there’s another fucking woodpecker around to even hear it. Real good use of your short time on Earth, idiot.” (We honestly don’t know how true this is – that perhaps we are the only Humans left on this Earth. Probably there are others, but far fewer than you can imagine. ) At press time, the woodpecker had completely wasted the very last seconds of its entire species by hopping around on the ground with a stick in its beak, with most onlookers reportedly not very upset to see the moron go.

via Last Remaining Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Really Squandering Species’ Final Weeks – The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

WATCH THIS VIDEO and please see our previous blog posts pointing to the same “alien attack” plans as the above Onion story:

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